I ask myself
What is love?
What is hope?
What is home?
And then I realise
It’s nothing to know
But to feel.
HarmonyWe were always like
The yellow rape fields
And the endless blue sky
Building a beautiful harmony
Between the colours.
The sky is grey.
UntitledWhere does it come from?
This unbearable aching
That comes with the rain
Of summer time
And goes with the wind
Of autumn nights.
Leaving a painful sadness
In a broken heart
And an ever aching soul.
PathsI saw you walking down the street
Seeing you walking away like that
Makes me smile a bit sadly
But I turn around, keep walking
Walking down the other way
My path of life
Goes in the opposite direction
The path I've chosen to go
A path without you
As I walk further
And further away from you
My smile becomes more sincere
Maybe our paths separate for today
But I don't mind anymore
We had a great time together
And nothing else matters anymore
CanyonIt always felt like
We’re standing at two sides
Of a great, deep canyon
As my attempts to talk to you
Were like trying to yell
Over the canyon
My words were catched
By the wind
And never reached you
That’s why my attempts
Always gone unknown by you
UntitledDon’t want to close my eyes
From everyday’s life
’Cause then I can’t see
That you’re looking at me.
Don’t want to hide anymore
’Cause then I won’t realise
That you’re recognizing me.
Don’t want to close my eyes
From the lies you’re telling
’Cause then I can’t see
The truth in your eyes.
Don’t want to hide my feelings
’Cause then I can’t realise
That you’re feeling the same.
Shadow angelUsed to be an angel
But you’re fallen
White wings slowly turn into black
You can’t fly anymore
’Cause you’re losing your feathers
Falling from broken bonds
Into the darkest shadows
But even when you’re fallen
I can find you in the shadows
Of your own heart
Because your bright shining halo
Is the guiding to find you
So let me take you
Out of the darkness
Into your light
Ariving in spring
Flying over sunny fields
While we make our memories
But dying in autumn
And taking memories
BetrayalEvery day the same old lies,
That cut and sever weakened ties,
Of bonds that were never meant to be,
Just drowning in an endless sea.
Of strangers in a faceless crowd.
It's because of you,
Now I hope you're proud.
Of what you did to this now tainted soul.
Beaten, broken, swallowed whole,
By the darkness invited to envelop my being.
They always say that believing is seeing.
But I guess that's just it,
you see my forced smile.
After all it's been plastered on my face for awhile.
But is it too late? I don't really know.
But the longer I sit here,
The more darkness will grow.
Am I too far gone? Is there no hope?
Will I keep slipping down this bottomless slope?
Do you see now what you have done?
I give up...now you have won.
I'm trapped, enslaved in this dark empty trance.
I say I am fine...
But will you risk that chance?
Aurora CorporealisOn those days, you leapt from planes
unafraid to fall because you were already flying.
On those days, you did not speak
because the words slipped between your vocal cords
and could not make a sound.
On those days, I could see you through vast skies
over open oceans and beyond slow-falling snow
because you stood so tall in a crowd of billions.
On those days, you were the northern lights
and the whole world became the southern hemisphere.
On those days, I watched your horizon turn on itself.
Frost crept over your limbs and hail fell into the firmament.
I was not afraid because I did not understand.
On this day, I erode under warm water,
crumble into clay against the wall,
hyperventilate as steam fills my lungs
and I write my worry into words.
I am afraid because I understand.
JudgmentCapricious, erratic creatures,
You observe the likeness of unknown features,
Condemning, curving your mouth with disdain
For the decorum of oneself shall obey your malicious reign.
The abomination you painted in your narrow mind,
Was no more than an eccentric brother yet to find
Utter compliance you seek,
Yet of vain dejection you only reek.
The enmity that guides your every line
Is but poison you gulped instead of light so divine.
Depart from the ignorance that compels you,
Underneath the deception lies all that is true.
There is a weight
You asked me to hold.
(Just for a while,
Just for a while.)
My tendons strain and snap,
I lack your Atlas strength.
The crushing force of gravity
Makes me weak, makes me sore.
Take it back, take it back,
But you’ve gone away.
I’m sinking down, I’m sinking down.
The water rises to my throat.
Pushing down, rising up
Drowning and drowning and drowning.
Take it back, please take it back,
Where have you gone?
I’m pinned beneath this weight,
With water to my nose.
My lungs fill up with salt,
Choking and screaming and breathing
Only freezing thickness of water.
Where is that mild friend oxygen?
Where has he gone?
My stinging eyes are blind here.
I cannot to escape, unwilling
To shed this leaden snare
Wherein I dwell confined.
I grip it tightly.
Surely I will die,
Sweet air has left my blood
I lay back and let black water take me,
Frozen fingers loosen on Your weight.
And all at once
it falls away
I watch i
GayI am gay.
I'm not a disease, I'm not a problem
I'm not an affliction
I don't need treatment.
I don't need help
I'm not sick
I'm not confused
I'm not a sin.
I am gay.
I'm your daughter
Your co worker
A complete stranger
I am gay.
I need love, just like you
I need smiles
I need support
I need a hug
I need a friend
I need a family
I need acceptance
I need understanding
I need you
I am gay.
I know what love is
I know what pain is
I know what hate is
I know what life is
I am gay.
And I need you to love me
The same way you loved me before you knew
I am gay.
And I have experienced hate
From more people than just you
I am gay.
And I wont change.
I wont give up.
I wont back down.
I wont pretend.
I wont lie.
I wont deny.
I wont hide.
I wont hurt.
I am gay.
And that's okay.
HetaliaxDepressed!Reader:Self-Inflicted AchromaticHetalia x Scary! Depressed! Reader: Self-Inflicted Achromatic
I want to be a person just like you, don't you see?
I want to be a person who is still being "me"
A tired sigh escaped your lips. You were just so damn tired. The other countries said that you, (f/n) or (c/n), was scarier than Russia himself. But of course, you have lived 2500 years with wars and bloodshed always trailing after you. You just really want to be happy. But all those wars and blood imprinted on your mind, you really just released off a dark (a/c) aura and a stoic atmosphere.
It really would be nice but I'm paying a price
'Cause I'd really, not be me and that would not suffice
You asked yourself, "I know my face doesn't show my pain. But isn't it obvious in my eyes? I'm lonely and hurt" You rubbed your numb (s/c) wrist, yesterday's cuts still had a colorless ache to it. You picked your silver knife, twirling it around watching the others argue. The said knife is the one you also use to cut yourself.
A dream which
The GardeniasI told you I had wildflowers growing in my veins
and you thought it was quaint,
so when I took shears to my jugular -
you wouldn’t help me cut them out.
You thought I’d be opheliac
if they bloomed, splashing white
into my already paling wrists.
Maybe you thought the perfume would purify me
and being a tragic heroine
would be better than just being tragic.
Their roots choked out my heart and
to my blood
as I died,
drowning in the after-effects of Pretty,
all I could hear
was you telling me that you loved
that I had Gardenias in my eyes.
On losing a friend(it did not end in tears.)
I could give you armfuls of oceans, great
mountain ranges wrapped in silver bows,
a coral reef gleaming like a sapphire chain
but you will always ask for a dormant volcano
and a star you can hold in your palm.
And I have tried to be that star, have tried to
combust bright enough, shrink small enough
but it is never enough for you. You kiss my
mouth with those carmine lips and swallow my
heartbeat with your gentle laugh and I glow
I glow and you go you go you go on stringing
me along a trail of crumbs, making me forget
that I am starving myself for your table scraps.
I could press the slats of pre-dawn light into your
answering machine, could fold dust columns that
fall between venetian archways into your bedsheets,
could hang the lost jewels of jaguar fangs clattering
above your dreamcatcher and you would only ask for
a dormant volcano and a brittle sea-salt glass wave.
And I have tried to capture the tides and I have tried
to blow glass but my hands are clum
A Letter to My Best FriendA letter to my best friend, for when he is feeling badly
When your sunny skies turn to thunder clouds.
When you can't hear your own thoughts
Over rumbling drum rolls of thunder.
I will be the umbrella to protect you
From the freezing rain.
I'd set my bones aflame
Watch them spark and burn.
I'd turn my soul into a Bon fire
Just to keep you warm.
I'd catch fire flies like stars.
I would keep them in a jar
And give them to you.
Because you light up the dark of the night sky.
When I am feeling blue
You are the one that helps me get through
The murk of my lonely thoughts.
And sometimes, I don't feel like you see yourself clearly.
I wish you could see you
The way I do.
I see you in the stars
You talk about them so fondly.
Every constellation reminds me of you.
I wonder if you are made of cosmos.
Such chaotic, pure energy,
I see you in the rain.
You are cold
I'd dance to the music of your soft,
Pitter- patter melody.
I see you in the air I breathe.
Because you are the thing